Stikjapaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud ant.

Stikjapaf created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikjapaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stikjapaf, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Stikjapaf's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Stikjapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.