Tettiwapgep is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciless fox.

Tettiwapgep created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettiwapgep, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettiwapgep, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tettiwapgep's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tettiwapgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Hide if six great tits approach from the north.

3. Erect five copper sculptures of Tettiwapgep on top of important buildings.

4. Put Tettiwapgep first in all things.

5. Always help voles in need.