Quambassjan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, kind shark.

Quambassjan created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quambassjan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quambassjan, it will not care.

Quambassjan's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Quambassjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Quambassjan loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.