Zigcemman is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, staggering salamander.

Zigcemman created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigcemman, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zigcemman, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zigcemman's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zigcemman's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of otters.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.