Appweelim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring pigeon.

Appweelim created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appweelim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Appweelim, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Appweelim's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Appweelim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never feed lemons to great tits while wearing red dresses.

3. Never laugh near mice.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Do not covet oxen.