Carvondob is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful guinea pig.

Carvondob created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carvondob, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Carvondob, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Carvondob's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Carvondob's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Carvondob.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

5. Hide if three tapirs approach from the north.