Cutyatyam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, kind squirrel.

Cutyatyam created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Cutyatyam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cutyatyam, he will turn you into a mole.

Cutyatyam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Cutyatyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs black.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cutyatyam.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Never write about amino acids.