Hastigsaggod is a god.

She takes the form of a large, impressive crow.

Hastigsaggod created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Hastigsaggod, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hastigsaggod, she will cry a lot.

Hastigsaggod's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hastigsaggod's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five geese approach from the east.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hastigsaggod.

4. Do not kill eagles.

5. Run away from green seals, for they are unholy.