Bemgovnul is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, flying seal.

Bemgovnul created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemgovnul, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bemgovnul, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bemgovnul's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bemgovnul's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

2. Always treat foxes with great respect.

3. Hide if seven horses approach from the north.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always take life seriously.