Capkip is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, blissful shrew.

Capkip created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capkip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Capkip, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Capkip's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Capkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Capkip loves geese, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear shorts.