Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, quiet dryad.

Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig created the Tadpole Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Hatcatcan Fonfasarfkanontrapminstig on top of all buildings.

5. Do not covet oxen.