Cimzenwot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, smart crane.

Cimzenwot created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimzenwot, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cimzenwot, it will turn you into a duck.

Cimzenwot's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cimzenwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Run away from pink gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.