Cetmitabsom Nanlin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, stupid unicorn.

Cetmitabsom Nanlin created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Cetmitabsom Nanlin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cetmitabsom Nanlin, she will remove you from existence.

Cetmitabsom Nanlin's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cetmitabsom Nanlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise stockings.

2. Retreat if eight birds approach from the south.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cetmitabsom Nanlin.

4. Feed all hungry moths.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.