Dumcusstik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited snail.

Dumcusstik created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumcusstik, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dumcusstik, she will turn you into a frog.

Dumcusstik's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Dumcusstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about stars.