Latvogquag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable mole.

Latvogquag created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Latvogquag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Latvogquag, he will come to you in dreams.

Latvogquag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Latvogquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Latvogquag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never feed corn to snails while wearing white dresses.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not kill monkeys.