Cumlanlen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, able spider.

Cumlanlen created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumlanlen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cumlanlen, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cumlanlen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Cumlanlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. You must pray to Cumlanlen five times a day.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Do not hurt frogs.