Farfotbif is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, resourceful badger.

Farfotbif created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Farfotbif, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farfotbif, it will turn you into a rock.

Farfotbif's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Farfotbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Farfotbif on top of all buildings.

4. Always look after injured geese.

5. Never play with disobedient children.