Flagciddapjatarfwad Gemgupfot is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, vain salamander.

Flagciddapjatarfwad Gemgupfot created silver four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagciddapjatarfwad Gemgupfot, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flagciddapjatarfwad Gemgupfot, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flagciddapjatarfwad Gemgupfot's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Flagciddapjatarfwad Gemgupfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the east.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.