Janfuntam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful finch.

Janfuntam created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janfuntam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Janfuntam, he will turn you into a slug.

Janfuntam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Janfuntam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine ants approach from the south.

2. Janfuntam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not make images of living things.