Hatbensin is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, stupid alligator.

Hatbensin created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatbensin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hatbensin, she will destroy your home solar system.

Hatbensin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Hatbensin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red dogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill bats.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.