Gatvonbest is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, flying toad.

Gatvonbest created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatvonbest, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gatvonbest, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gatvonbest's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gatvonbest's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Erect three lead sculptures of Gatvonbest on top of important buildings.

5. Do not hurt swans.