Dam is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, egotistical crow.

Dam created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dam, it will destroy your home solar system.

Dam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dam's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect nine copper sculptures of Dam on top of important buildings.