Spagnarlgan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, calm owl.

Spagnarlgan created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagnarlgan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Spagnarlgan, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Spagnarlgan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Spagnarlgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.