Tiptindav is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet tapir.

Tiptindav created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tiptindav, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiptindav, it will turn you into a plant.

Tiptindav's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tiptindav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat spinach.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help mites.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat lemons.