Tifmotlid is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous frog.

Tifmotlid created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tifmotlid, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tifmotlid, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tifmotlid's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tifmotlid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

4. You must pray to Tifmotlid eight times a day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.