Latfomnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless finch.

Latfomnurl created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Latfomnurl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Latfomnurl, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Latfomnurl's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Latfomnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near mites.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not kill doves.