Bassfarnmin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, caring hummingbird.

Bassfarnmin created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfarnmin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bassfarnmin, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Bassfarnmin's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bassfarnmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Always obey Bassfarnmin's priests.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bassfarnmin on top of all buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.