Narlcarbad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful parrot.

Narlcarbad created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlcarbad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Narlcarbad, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Narlcarbad's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Narlcarbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always obey Narlcarbad's priests.

4. Do not eat cucumbers.

5. Erect nine iron sculptures of Narlcarbad on top of important buildings.