Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous dolphin.

Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak, it will turn you into a goat.

Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must love Tenzogsom Queegbidwodlak.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.