Bedvedfod is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, staggering penguin.

Bedvedfod created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedvedfod, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bedvedfod, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bedvedfod's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bedvedfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bedvedfod.

5. Do not make images of living things.