Miptiphot is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, emotional penguin.

Miptiphot created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Miptiphot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Miptiphot, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Miptiphot's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Miptiphot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Never eat bark.

3. You must pray to Miptiphot nine times a day.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not stand on grass.