Cadyokzim is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, blissful gerbil.

Cadyokzim created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cadyokzim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cadyokzim, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cadyokzim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cadyokzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadyokzim.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.