Vogflanstan is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable porpoise.

Vogflanstan created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogflanstan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vogflanstan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Vogflanstan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vogflanstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. You must love Vogflanstan.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention hamsters.

5. Do not wear red clothing.