Dodfidgun is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, boastful swallow.

Dodfidgun created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodfidgun, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dodfidgun, he will curse you with boils.

Dodfidgun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Dodfidgun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if three great tits approach from the south.

3. Dodfidgun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.