Narlwot is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring grasshopper.

Narlwot created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Narlwot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Narlwot, he will jump up and down on your head.

Narlwot's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Narlwot's Holy Commandments

1. Narlwot loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.