Nutweekar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient swan.

Nutweekar created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutweekar, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nutweekar, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nutweekar's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Nutweekar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nutweekar.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Never talk about seals.