Lidpangof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest troll.

Lidpangof created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidpangof, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lidpangof, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lidpangof's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Lidpangof's Holy Commandments

1. Lidpangof loves snails, so they must be honoured.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not speak about garlic.