Fabgigtin Zigbanfas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, witty armadillo.

Fabgigtin Zigbanfas created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabgigtin Zigbanfas, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fabgigtin Zigbanfas, he will come to you in dreams.

Fabgigtin Zigbanfas' most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Fabgigtin Zigbanfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hide from purple gulls for they are unholy.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fabgigtin Zigbanfas on top of all buildings.