Mutnellparkvid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful fairy.

Mutnellparkvid created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutnellparkvid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mutnellparkvid, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Mutnellparkvid's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Mutnellparkvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never feed parsnips to turtles while wearing orange trousers.

3. Never paint your legs turquoise.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.