Disspitjab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, benevolent meerkat.

Disspitjab created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Disspitjab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Disspitjab, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Disspitjab's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Disspitjab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Worship no other gods but Disspitjab.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.