Belltaddut is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, generous seal.

Belltaddut created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Belltaddut, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Belltaddut, he will refuse to believe in you.

Belltaddut's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Belltaddut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never feed bananas to badgers while wearing white stockings.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.