Benhaplog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, overgenerous bat.

Benhaplog created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benhaplog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Benhaplog, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Benhaplog's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Benhaplog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from cyan otters for they are unholy.

3. Always obey Benhaplog's priests.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Never think about black holes.