Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witless fly.

Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Mintitlimhinlentenzak Dancinkam must be the most important thing in your life.