Vonkpoglib is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient lobster.

Vonkpoglib created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpoglib, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkpoglib, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vonkpoglib's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vonkpoglib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonkpoglib.

3. Vonkpoglib loves badgers, so they must be respected.

4. Do not take Vonkpoglib's name in vain.

5. Do not commit murder.