Zodnigmin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless tapir.

Zodnigmin created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodnigmin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zodnigmin, he will turn you into a snail.

Zodnigmin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Zodnigmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Zodnigmin on top of all buildings.