Benartflatcib Talwonpit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental aardvark.

Benartflatcib Talwonpit created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benartflatcib Talwonpit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Benartflatcib Talwonpit, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Benartflatcib Talwonpit's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Benartflatcib Talwonpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never write about cell theory.