Linstipmegfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent turtle.

Linstipmegfarn created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linstipmegfarn, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Linstipmegfarn, she will make you grow a tail.

Linstipmegfarn's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Linstipmegfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not take Linstipmegfarn's name in vain.

5. Never look in ponds.