Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthinking dugong.

Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. You must pray to Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil seven times a day.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Jiparffed Pinhabgess Yarragbuspadzenyokdibnil on top of all buildings.

5. Do not shave your back.