Begwitflagzim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, tranquil duck.

Begwitflagzim created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begwitflagzim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Begwitflagzim, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Begwitflagzim's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Begwitflagzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Begwitflagzim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never laugh near snakes.

5. Always stare at clouds.