Timvilzan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unjust cobra.

Timvilzan created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timvilzan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Timvilzan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Timvilzan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Timvilzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never paint your feet fawn.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Hide from turquoise cats for they are unholy.